Building Trust In Your Relationship

Building trust in your relationship is vitally important for a long term healthy relationship.  So how do you build trust in a relationship and maintain it.  Well, hopefully you or your mate aren't compulsive lier's and if that is the case then I would suggest some professional counseling.  Otherwise, please read on and we will discuss the important factors to building trust in your relationship.

There are several important rules to maintaining a trusting honest relationship.  These tips are great if you are just starting out so be sure to read them, discuss them with your date and make a promise to each other to try to maintain them. If you are in a long term relationship and are having problems with the trust issue then the following tips will give you a clear goal to reach, but you may want to read upcoming articles that will help you and your mate rebuild the trust in your relationship.

The first thing you always want to do in any relationship is to be predictable.  Always do what it is you say you are going to do.  If you are to be someplace at a particular time, then its important to be there at that time.  If you promise to call, then call.  It's really not that hard, and no it doesn't mean you are whipped!  It shows the person that you care about that you value your relationship with them.

Be honest about how you are feeling.  Don't tell your mate that dinner at ??? is fine when you can't stand their food.  It will show up in how you act and carry yourself.  Just be honest.  Let them know how you feel and suggest another place. When we try to hide how we feel then it shows up in other ways, being irritated, cranky, and leaves your mate wondering what it was they did wrong.  Just be honest.

Don't keep secrets (unless it for a surprise party for them).  Secrets not only create a situation where you will have to tell more lies but they will eventually reveal themselves, and when they do they trust will be broken, plain and simple.  Plus keeping secrets creates a lot of anxiety which is really bad for you, so just be truthful.

Saying NO is Okay, so if your mate asks you to do something your are uncomfortable doing or don't enjoy, or just plain don't want to then let them know.  There is nothing worse then finding out down the road that your mate really didn't want to do a particular thing for you.  I'm sure your response to them would be "Why didn't you tell me you didn't like that?"
That will create some doubt in your relationship, which can spiral out of control.  So don't be afraid to say NO.

If your mate asks, be honest about your past.  It's fine to let them know that your are not comfortable about opening up about some things, but knowing where you have been and what you have experienced will help them to understand you better. If they react negatively then it's best to know upfront rather then down the line.

In summary, building trust in your relationship will take work, and at times it can be scary.  It has a way of opening you up and making yourself vulnerable, but if your relationship is going to be a good one then it needs to start out with a lot of trust and honesty. 

Trust In A Relationship-Is It Important?

Trust in a relationship is a very important aspect of the relationship, for without trust the relationship is doomed. To trust someone is to believe in them, To have no doubt about what they tell you and their actions when you are apart. It is based on honesty, integrity and credibility.  It is very important to develop and keep trust in a relationship for once the trust is broken, then the relationship is broken.

Wiki defines trust as:  One party (trustor) is willing to rely on the actions of another party (trustee); the situation is directed to the future. In addition, the trustor (voluntarily or forcedly) abandons control over the actions performed by the trustee. As a consequence, the trustor is uncertain about the outcome of the other's actions; he can only develop and evaluate expectations. The uncertainty involves the risk of harm to the trustor if the trustee will not behave as desired.

So let's examine this thing called trust a little closer.  As a relationship begins a person believes without much proof what the other is saying and doing, the trust hasn't been broken so there is no reason to doubt.  As the relationship grows and two people start depending and relying on each other, the opportunity for trust to be broken becomes larger.  We have all heard about little white lies.  Well, too many little white lies adds up after awhile. I also believe that the individual integrity of a person and their past hurts will affect their ability to be truthful or to trust their partner.

If a person has been hurt in the past then after awhile they may start doubting the things you tell them.  They start having doubts about whether the other person can be trusted.  Are they really going to their Mothers?  Are they really going to help their friend?  The little nagging doubts are constantly in their head, and trying to maintain any kind of trusting relationship with them can prove to be very difficult.  It will take a lot of work and Patience on you part to build that trusting relationship.

On the other hand you might be seeing someone who cannot be truthful.  A recent study by Jennifer Argo of the University of Alberta showed that people are even more willing to lie to coworkers than they are to strangers."We want to both look good when we are in the company of others (especially people we care about), and we want to protect our self-worth," Argo told LiveScience. "I guess closely tied to this is that people appear to be short-term focused when they decide to deceive someone—save my self-image and self-worth now, but later on if the deceived individual finds out it can have long-term consequences," she said.

"It's tied in with self-esteem," says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels." Feldman says people should become more aware of the extent to which we tend to lie and that honesty yields more genuine relationships and trust.

So if you are just starting out in a relationship or are in a relationship and have concerns about trust in a relationship then please read my article "Building Trust In Your Relationship".  It should help your current situation or give you some useful advice on maintaining trust in a relationship