Friday, July 29, 2011

Getting Past Infidelity - How to Trust My Girlfriend After She Cheated .

Getting Past infidelity can be a very tough challenge, and "how to trust my girlfriend after she cheated" is even tougher.

Both of them will take a lot of inner searching and communication between the two of you.  Cheating in or on a relationship, weather it is your boyfriend or girlfriend, destroys any trust that you both had in your relationship.    

Most men rely heavily on their pride and their masculinity, and when a woman cheats, he can feel emasculated and insecure about himself. It can be very hard for a men to move forward and to forgive a woman who has strayed from the relationship, regardless of what the circumstances were.  So the big challenge here is First - Do you want to continue this relationship?.. and Second... How do you regain the trust.

So let's tackle the first one...Do you want to continue this relationship?  You need to really search inside for the answer, But here are a few things you might want to look at and consider:

*  How long have you been in this relationship.  If it is a reasonably new relationship, then this could be a warning as to how your girlfriend really is.  If you two have been together for quite a while, then trying to work things out could be worth it.

*  Has the basis of your relationship been good.  If trust and faithfulness has not been an issue before, and your relationship has been a strong one, then you need to explore why your girlfriend cheated on you.  Women cheat for a lot of different reasons then men.  And trying to explore the issues behind her cheating can strengthen you relationship, if you let it.

*  Is your self image and inner strength strong enough to completely forgive and try to understand why she cheated on you.Your relationship with your girlfriend is over if you can't forgive her.  That means never bringing this up down the road when you get upset with her, and trusting her to do whats right when your not around each other.  A cheating girlfriend can create a lot of doubt about yourself.  Don't let it, know that why she cheated had nothing to do with you as an individual. So try not to internalize it. Step up, find out why it happened, then do what you can to resolve the problems that created it to begin with.

So how do you regain the trust? That's part of getting past infidelity & how to trust your girlfriend after she cheated.

*  Women cheat for a variety of reasons.  Not feeling loved, not sexually satisfied, feeling like she is being ignored or taken advantage of.  Not feeling needed or wanted or sexy.  So your first step is to find out why she cheated.  Was it any of the reasons above? Then you can solve those issues by finding out what it is you can do to make her feel better and then do them.

*  Or maybe she cheated innocently, drank too much and things just happened.  If she came to you and admitted she made a mistake and apologizes, then that could mean that it wasn't intended, and it might not have been anything wrong in your relationship with her.  It still will leave an affect on you trusting her, and will need to be talked about.

*  Forgiving someone who broke you heart is very difficult and trust can take awhile to rebuild. You will need to discuss  this with your girlfriend.  Let her know how  you feel without getting angry and over emotional. Then you will need to sit down together, find out what you can do to improve your relationship.  She needs to know that you will feel insecure for awhile. Just remember to give it time, learning to trust your girlfriend is not going to happen overnight. And make sure it is something you really want and take it one day at a time. You will need to be committed to the process and to the relationship. And make sure you do it because you feel it is right for you, not for anyone else.

*  If you feel this is something you can't do on your own, then find a therapist or get counseling through your church. Sometimes having someone else there can help you to see things a little clearer. They also provide you with the support and tools you will need to re-establish the trust in your relationship.

Ultimately, You need to explore your relationship if your goal is Getting Past Infidelity - How to Trust My Girlfriend After She Cheated, then you need to follow your heart.  If you believe that she deserves a second chance and  that you can really give her one, then by all means try to save your relationship. However, if you know deep down that you will never be able to forgive her, then you need to move on  from the relationship.

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