So your girl just took off on you and you’re not really sure why. Why do women leave perfectly, or seemingly perfectly, good relationships? Losing someone you’ve been with for awhile is probably the roughest patch of life you’ll go through. You have a big void in you that’s filled with stinging pain and you wonder if you could drag yourself through this nightmare.
Is there a way you can reverse everything you did wrong to get your girl back? Yes, there is, but first you need to honestly evaluate the warning clues that your girl threw out there for you.
Here are 10 warning signs that went over your head:
1. Everything is your fault: Whether if it’s how you wear your pants or what you get at a restaurant, if your ex has been increasingly finding more things to complain about, it’s time to evaluate your situation.
2. Kiss no more: Your ex didn’t want to kiss you as much, wasn’t as enthusiastic or came up with excuses not to kiss, hold your hand or give embraces your touch.
3. She has a more important social life: She hangs out with her girlfriends more, going on girls night out, delaying returning your texts or calls and generally spends less time with you.
5. White lies: You caught your girl lying about her whereabouts more often. She tells you one thing but you find out she’s with her girlfriends or office buddies.
6. Quotes: If she says anything similar to: “Did you meet a new girl?” or “Why don’t you get a backbone?” You’re on your way out. Women usually don’t say what’s on their mind verbally. But in this case, what she’s saying to you is only a cover up of what her real intentions are.
7. Work: You’re doing all of it. Whether it’s you always initiating contact or suggesting going out. It all falls on your shoulders and you don’t understand why she’s not putting in any effort.
8. Glow: Her eyes, voice and body language don’t light up when she sees or hears you. She’s lost that playfulness that you’ve gone used to but is suddenly gone. She’s starting to sound more like a guy friend than someone with romantic interest, and again you don’t know why.
9. Differences: The connection between you and her is fading. She doesn’t laugh at your jokes or likes the same movies like you do. She just seems to be there because she has to.
10. Picture this: She doesn’t have a picture of you as her wallpaper on her cell phone. You’re gone from her Facebook photos and she offers no explanation other than, stop being so insecure.
Whether you chose to ignore these signs or not, love just doesn’t end abruptly. It started months, maybe even years ago, but if you happen to catch it in time, there is still hope.
You need to sharpen your senses for little subtle clues that she warned you about and you will be just fine. Remember, you will notice these things when it’s too late.
So don't wait until it' too late! See how you can repair your relationship with this step-by-step guide That you can get here. And do what it is you need to do to keep your relationship.
This article is from : Secrets To Win Back Girlfriend
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH HEARTBREAK, SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
5 Steps You Can Take To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Looking for ways to rekindle the relationship with your ex girlfriend? Yes, we know that breakups happen, in fact they happen all the time. Unfortunately, most people just accept the fact that it's over, when deep down inside they wish that it wasn't. If they knew that there were things they could do to get their ex girlfriend back, they probably wouldn't give up so easily. So you are one of the few who aren't willing to just quit. Good for you! Below you will find 5 steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back.
1. It's very important to still maintain some kind of connection with your ex girlfriend if you want to get her back. So regardless of why you broke up (right now any way) try to make some kind of connection with her. It could be an email or a text asking how she is, and just basically letting her know that your still around and care. Now don't go crazy and be a pest, just an occasional email or text will do for now.
2. Once you have taken the first steps in contacting her, and if she responds, well then you can take the next step. On step 2 your just going to text her or email her a little more often. Maybe even a phone call if she is willing. Don't talk about why you two split up, or about any problems. Just a "Hi, how are you doing?" should be enough to get some conversation going. Try to keep it light, a sense of humor is always good, and letting her know what you have been up to. Once again, don't phone her all the time, just every now and then. But always leave the option open for her to call you if she needs anything, or to just talk.
3. Now that the silence has been broken and you are back on talking terms with her, it might be a good time to invite her out with some friends. Let her know that it isn't a date, just that you do miss her and it would be good to see her. If she isn't ready yet let her know that that's okay, that you understand. But keep the communication going. Once she doesn't feel threatened, (her emotions getting stomped on) she will probably love to see you.
4. During this time of courtship (yes, that's what it is) Do Not, I repeat, Do Not go out with other women. If you really want to get your ex girlfriend back then this is very important. You can go out with the guys, and do what you would normally do, just no other women.
5. When you do get the opportunity to go somewhere with her, Treat Her Like A Princess! Treat her like she is beautiful and you adore her. Show her respect but also show her a good time. Don't put expectations on her, and don't expect her to go home with you. Remember, you are trying to get you ex girlfriend back and that can take time. But if you truly love her, it will be time well spent.
Now that you are back on talking terms and seeing each other, flirt with her a little. Let her know that you are still interested in her.
I hope these 5 steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back helped you get back into her life. To keep things running smoothly and take things to the next step check out t. Dub Jacksons "The Magic Of Making Up". It will not only get you back into her arms, but will also show you how to keep your relationship strong.
1. It's very important to still maintain some kind of connection with your ex girlfriend if you want to get her back. So regardless of why you broke up (right now any way) try to make some kind of connection with her. It could be an email or a text asking how she is, and just basically letting her know that your still around and care. Now don't go crazy and be a pest, just an occasional email or text will do for now.
2. Once you have taken the first steps in contacting her, and if she responds, well then you can take the next step. On step 2 your just going to text her or email her a little more often. Maybe even a phone call if she is willing. Don't talk about why you two split up, or about any problems. Just a "Hi, how are you doing?" should be enough to get some conversation going. Try to keep it light, a sense of humor is always good, and letting her know what you have been up to. Once again, don't phone her all the time, just every now and then. But always leave the option open for her to call you if she needs anything, or to just talk.
3. Now that the silence has been broken and you are back on talking terms with her, it might be a good time to invite her out with some friends. Let her know that it isn't a date, just that you do miss her and it would be good to see her. If she isn't ready yet let her know that that's okay, that you understand. But keep the communication going. Once she doesn't feel threatened, (her emotions getting stomped on) she will probably love to see you.
4. During this time of courtship (yes, that's what it is) Do Not, I repeat, Do Not go out with other women. If you really want to get your ex girlfriend back then this is very important. You can go out with the guys, and do what you would normally do, just no other women.
5. When you do get the opportunity to go somewhere with her, Treat Her Like A Princess! Treat her like she is beautiful and you adore her. Show her respect but also show her a good time. Don't put expectations on her, and don't expect her to go home with you. Remember, you are trying to get you ex girlfriend back and that can take time. But if you truly love her, it will be time well spent.
Now that you are back on talking terms and seeing each other, flirt with her a little. Let her know that you are still interested in her.
I hope these 5 steps you can take to get your ex girlfriend back helped you get back into her life. To keep things running smoothly and take things to the next step check out t. Dub Jacksons "The Magic Of Making Up". It will not only get you back into her arms, but will also show you how to keep your relationship strong.
7 Steps to Get Your Ex Back If He Has Moved On
If your Ex has moved on and your wondering how to get him back then just follow these 7 steps to get your ex back.
1. Your first step is to try to show him that he really misses you and want to get back with you. But this could be a difficult one, it really depends on why you broke up to begone with. Does he really not want anything to do with you, have you pushed him too far and he is done? Well, lets look at a few options you can take if this is the scenario.
2. One of the best way's to convince him is to just be his friend. How do you do that? by listening to him, not nagging and complaining. Show him that you understand him, and that you can listen without throwing a fit. Rediscover your sense of humor and joke around with him. This will remind him of how it used to be and he may realize that he wants you back again.
3. When he gets to the point where he feels comfortable being around you again and talking to you, then show a little attitude. Let him see some self confidence and a little sass. You want to make him want you, but you also want him to feel that it won't be easy to get you. Playing a little hard to get can make him want you more.
4. While you are playing hard to get also try to get the message out to him that you are available. And make sure that you still go out with friends and have interests in things. A little flirting is fine, a little jealousy on his part is good, but if you want him back make sure that you don't get cozy with anybody else. There is a fine line here, because if he thinks you are with somebody else, he could lose all interest. So even though you may flirt with others, make sure he is aware that you have no interest in them.
5. What ever you do, do not act desperate or needy! You want him to feel that you are fine without him, even though you miss him, and that if this is really how he wants it, then you can be fine with that and that you are willing to move on.
6. And don't hesitate to flirt with him a little. If you notice him looking at him then make sure to look back, with a small smile, that let's him know that you a paying attention to him, but in a kind of "you can't have me" kind of way.
7. When you do get the opportunity to sit and talk with him, don't bring up any of the bad times you had together. Instead bring up the happy moments and the good times you had together. This will remind him of how happy you both were together and how much you both enjoyed each other.
These are just a few of the steps you can take to get your ex back when he has moved on. And they aren't my steps, these are the steps I discovered in "The Magic Of Making Up". And guess what, They Work! So if you need more help with getting your ex back if he has moved on, then you need to check "The Magic Of Making Up" Out. You Can get it Here.
1. Your first step is to try to show him that he really misses you and want to get back with you. But this could be a difficult one, it really depends on why you broke up to begone with. Does he really not want anything to do with you, have you pushed him too far and he is done? Well, lets look at a few options you can take if this is the scenario.
2. One of the best way's to convince him is to just be his friend. How do you do that? by listening to him, not nagging and complaining. Show him that you understand him, and that you can listen without throwing a fit. Rediscover your sense of humor and joke around with him. This will remind him of how it used to be and he may realize that he wants you back again.
3. When he gets to the point where he feels comfortable being around you again and talking to you, then show a little attitude. Let him see some self confidence and a little sass. You want to make him want you, but you also want him to feel that it won't be easy to get you. Playing a little hard to get can make him want you more.
4. While you are playing hard to get also try to get the message out to him that you are available. And make sure that you still go out with friends and have interests in things. A little flirting is fine, a little jealousy on his part is good, but if you want him back make sure that you don't get cozy with anybody else. There is a fine line here, because if he thinks you are with somebody else, he could lose all interest. So even though you may flirt with others, make sure he is aware that you have no interest in them.
5. What ever you do, do not act desperate or needy! You want him to feel that you are fine without him, even though you miss him, and that if this is really how he wants it, then you can be fine with that and that you are willing to move on.
6. And don't hesitate to flirt with him a little. If you notice him looking at him then make sure to look back, with a small smile, that let's him know that you a paying attention to him, but in a kind of "you can't have me" kind of way.
7. When you do get the opportunity to sit and talk with him, don't bring up any of the bad times you had together. Instead bring up the happy moments and the good times you had together. This will remind him of how happy you both were together and how much you both enjoyed each other.
These are just a few of the steps you can take to get your ex back when he has moved on. And they aren't my steps, these are the steps I discovered in "The Magic Of Making Up". And guess what, They Work! So if you need more help with getting your ex back if he has moved on, then you need to check "The Magic Of Making Up" Out. You Can get it Here.
How To Get My Ex back If He Wants More Space
Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.
- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.
- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.
- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.
- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.
- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.
If you need more help, its just a click away! You'll find a step-by-stop guide to help you get you ex boyfriend back right here .
- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.
- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short text messages, brief phone calls and online conversations in passing are all a great way to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.
- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.
- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.
- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.
If you need more help, its just a click away! You'll find a step-by-stop guide to help you get you ex boyfriend back right here .
I'm Heartbroken! How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back?
If you've recently broken up, then your probably going through a very tough time right now. I'm sure the only thought you have on your mind is "how can I get my ex boyfriend back!" But don't despair, there are a few things you can do to make the possibility of getting him back better.
The first thing you need to do is to be nice to your ex boyfriend. No yelling, crying, or throwing fits! If you through a fit, or complain, then your just reminding him of why he left in the first place. Calm Down! Otherwise he will avoid you, and you'll never get back with him if he won't see you. Just try to be as nice as you can whenever you are around him, even if you have to pretend.
You might be surprised at his reaction to you being pleasant to him. It will make him wonder why you don't miss him, and it will get his curiosity up.
Maybe your wondering "Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?" Well this can be a tough one. Now more then ever you need to be really nice, as his mind is on someone else. But remember, you both have a past together, and that is something I'm sure he is thinking about too. There is no new girlfriend that can take that away, I just hope you had enough good times for him to reflect on. If you were a major nag, then he might prefer to be with his new girlfriend.
You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Make sure to let him know this, and if there are things that you have done in the relationship that you regret, then make an apology for them, and be sincere about it. Right now what he needs to see is how great you really are, then maybe he will realize how much he really misses you.
If your thinking that you can get him back by being deceptive or jealous, forget it. It will probably just remind him of all the problems both of you had. And anything deceptive will just backfire on you down the road. Making him jealous because you are seeing someone else is just being unfair to the person you are seeing. And if that is something you are doing or plan to do, then it's time to grow up. That will only create unnecessary drama in you life, and theirs. Plus, it won't make any points with your ex boyfriend.
Just be honest! Show him that you are alright, but that you do miss him, that you are sorry for anything that you might have done, and that you are still around. That would be the best way to get your boyfriend back.
If your really serious about "How To Get My Boyfriend back" then you need to really seriously check out T. Dub Jacksons step-by-step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up." It's what helped me and my boyfriend get back together, and the information he shares with you is invaluable. Not only are we more in love then ever, but now we also have the tools to work through the problems we have.
The first thing you need to do is to be nice to your ex boyfriend. No yelling, crying, or throwing fits! If you through a fit, or complain, then your just reminding him of why he left in the first place. Calm Down! Otherwise he will avoid you, and you'll never get back with him if he won't see you. Just try to be as nice as you can whenever you are around him, even if you have to pretend.
You might be surprised at his reaction to you being pleasant to him. It will make him wonder why you don't miss him, and it will get his curiosity up.
Maybe your wondering "Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?" Well this can be a tough one. Now more then ever you need to be really nice, as his mind is on someone else. But remember, you both have a past together, and that is something I'm sure he is thinking about too. There is no new girlfriend that can take that away, I just hope you had enough good times for him to reflect on. If you were a major nag, then he might prefer to be with his new girlfriend.
You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Make sure to let him know this, and if there are things that you have done in the relationship that you regret, then make an apology for them, and be sincere about it. Right now what he needs to see is how great you really are, then maybe he will realize how much he really misses you.
If your thinking that you can get him back by being deceptive or jealous, forget it. It will probably just remind him of all the problems both of you had. And anything deceptive will just backfire on you down the road. Making him jealous because you are seeing someone else is just being unfair to the person you are seeing. And if that is something you are doing or plan to do, then it's time to grow up. That will only create unnecessary drama in you life, and theirs. Plus, it won't make any points with your ex boyfriend.
Just be honest! Show him that you are alright, but that you do miss him, that you are sorry for anything that you might have done, and that you are still around. That would be the best way to get your boyfriend back.
If your really serious about "How To Get My Boyfriend back" then you need to really seriously check out T. Dub Jacksons step-by-step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up." It's what helped me and my boyfriend get back together, and the information he shares with you is invaluable. Not only are we more in love then ever, but now we also have the tools to work through the problems we have.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Has The Passion For Your Relationship Died?
When I started to do some research on "Passion in a Relationship" I was really confused. My initial intention was to learn more about Passion for a relationship, but all the information I ran across linked passion with sex. Not that I don't think sex should not have passion in it, or that couples should not have sexual passion for each other...I feel both is a positive attribute to have in a relationship. It's just that I felt you should have a passion FOR your relationship for it to work, (and if you have passion for your relationship, well then, you will have a passionate sex life- a benefit of having passion for your relationship) and unfortunately I couldn't find anything on that.
So, where is the Passion For Your Relationship? Why isn't there a blaringly common threat on that subject like there is on communication in a relationship.
Maybe it's just me who is confused about the word "Passion". So I immediately went to the dictionary to find the correct meaning. This is what I found:
pas·sion [pash-uhn]
–noun
1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3. strong sexual desire; lust.
4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7. the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8. an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9. violent anger.
10. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, especially something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action).
11. (often initial capital letter) Theology .
a. the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
b. the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
12. Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.
So what I'm reading is that passion is a strong emotion, that could be love, anger, happiness, etc..... It's us who equate it with love or anger, It' basically "Just A Strong Emotion" about or for something. A passion for singing...A passion for painting....A passion for my relationship. Yeah, that works. So, it's my observation that when most of us get into a relationship with someone, that relationship should start out with a passion.... to be with the other person, to have sex, to have that relationship work out. That is our ultimate goal. To have the relationship work out, to be with that person for a long, long time. That is where the passion starts, and ultimately that is the kind of passion I was looking for.
Here is a quote from John Little Prince that explains Passion to a tee, and notice that the word sex isn't mentioned once.
"What is passion? For most people, the word “passion” refers to that something which they can do with utmost fondness, that something which awakens their inner desires to go beyond typical, that something which drives them to forget that they are alive and causes them to go beyond natural. Passion for some is that something which they truly love with supreme sincerity, that something which allows them to wake up in the morning with something to look forward to, and above all, that something which gives them genuine happiness in their lives. Passion is defined by many things to many people."
"I, however, believe that passion cannot be defined in all its brilliance by mere words. Instead, passion defines."
“Tell me what your passion is, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
-John Little Prince
Now that I have that figured out, and probably bored you in the meantime (sorry) let's get on with the initial question.
Has the Passion for your relationship died? Do you no longer desire it to work? Is everything a drudge, takes too much effort. Do you fantasize about having your own place, someplace where he/she isn't. (that was my fantasy for the longest time!) We'll before you give up completely, lets look at some other options.
Do you know that you Can Get The Passion back? I know that it might sound impossible right now, and maybe your thinking, "why would I possibly want it back?" "Yuck! You can have him/her, cause I'm done!" Well, slow down just a minute here. At one time you "had a Passion for him/her, and for this relationship that your in." Plus, your here so your obviously online looking for a solution. So, lets just take a minute and look at this.
What you need to do it to take a little timeout from everything. Just a little while, because if you want to get this relationship back on track your going to need to do a little work. So, take a little time out and sit back and go back to when your relationship just started out. I want you to go right back there and remember how you felt, all the emotions.
Now I want you to really focus on the feelings of that memory. That feeling is called Passion, passion for this relationship, for that person. That is the feeling we need to bring back.
So how do you start? The first thing I feel you need to do is bring that feeling up every day. Everyday when you get up and look across at that person, remember that feeling.
Second, of course is communication. A long-term marriage or relationship based on compatible friendship with good communication can revive the old courtship days when they are needed. But, unfortunately it's the thing most couples lack.
You both might be filling the same way, but if you won't talk about it then you just sit there and let it eat you up inside.
SO, here are three tips to help you re-open the communication lines:
1. You both need to sit down, not together, and write each other a letter. Talk about what has been bothering, things you might not understand about your partner, how you want things to be, what you miss. The list can go on and on. You don't need to cover all of these topics in one letter, but at least start with one. Try to keep any blaming or negative accusations our of the letter, just express how you feel. Give your letter to your partner, and set up a time for a later date to discuss them.
2. Get together, over coffee or lunch, and discuss the letters. How they made you feel, etc.... once again, don't blame, attack, or feel like your being blamed or attacked. Just listen and acknowledge the other person when they share.
If you have a hard time sharing or discussing things without blowing up, then do this exercise out in a public place. Just remember not to take things personal or get defensive.
3. Try to make this a weekly, or every other day, thing to do. This exercise should open up the communication lines, and get both of you reconnected, which will bring the passion in your relationship back.
Are you ready to save your marriage? Just looking to improve a relationship?Then you might want to check out Save The Marriage, before it's too late for you.
So, where is the Passion For Your Relationship? Why isn't there a blaringly common threat on that subject like there is on communication in a relationship.
Maybe it's just me who is confused about the word "Passion". So I immediately went to the dictionary to find the correct meaning. This is what I found:
pas·sion [pash-uhn]
–noun
1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3. strong sexual desire; lust.
4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7. the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8. an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9. violent anger.
10. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, especially something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action).
11. (often initial capital letter) Theology .
a. the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
b. the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
12. Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.
So what I'm reading is that passion is a strong emotion, that could be love, anger, happiness, etc..... It's us who equate it with love or anger, It' basically "Just A Strong Emotion" about or for something. A passion for singing...A passion for painting....A passion for my relationship. Yeah, that works. So, it's my observation that when most of us get into a relationship with someone, that relationship should start out with a passion.... to be with the other person, to have sex, to have that relationship work out. That is our ultimate goal. To have the relationship work out, to be with that person for a long, long time. That is where the passion starts, and ultimately that is the kind of passion I was looking for.
Here is a quote from John Little Prince that explains Passion to a tee, and notice that the word sex isn't mentioned once.
"What is passion? For most people, the word “passion” refers to that something which they can do with utmost fondness, that something which awakens their inner desires to go beyond typical, that something which drives them to forget that they are alive and causes them to go beyond natural. Passion for some is that something which they truly love with supreme sincerity, that something which allows them to wake up in the morning with something to look forward to, and above all, that something which gives them genuine happiness in their lives. Passion is defined by many things to many people."
"I, however, believe that passion cannot be defined in all its brilliance by mere words. Instead, passion defines."
“Tell me what your passion is, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
-John Little Prince
Now that I have that figured out, and probably bored you in the meantime (sorry) let's get on with the initial question.
Has the Passion for your relationship died? Do you no longer desire it to work? Is everything a drudge, takes too much effort. Do you fantasize about having your own place, someplace where he/she isn't. (that was my fantasy for the longest time!) We'll before you give up completely, lets look at some other options.
Do you know that you Can Get The Passion back? I know that it might sound impossible right now, and maybe your thinking, "why would I possibly want it back?" "Yuck! You can have him/her, cause I'm done!" Well, slow down just a minute here. At one time you "had a Passion for him/her, and for this relationship that your in." Plus, your here so your obviously online looking for a solution. So, lets just take a minute and look at this.
What you need to do it to take a little timeout from everything. Just a little while, because if you want to get this relationship back on track your going to need to do a little work. So, take a little time out and sit back and go back to when your relationship just started out. I want you to go right back there and remember how you felt, all the emotions.
Now I want you to really focus on the feelings of that memory. That feeling is called Passion, passion for this relationship, for that person. That is the feeling we need to bring back.
So how do you start? The first thing I feel you need to do is bring that feeling up every day. Everyday when you get up and look across at that person, remember that feeling.
Second, of course is communication. A long-term marriage or relationship based on compatible friendship with good communication can revive the old courtship days when they are needed. But, unfortunately it's the thing most couples lack.
You both might be filling the same way, but if you won't talk about it then you just sit there and let it eat you up inside.
SO, here are three tips to help you re-open the communication lines:
1. You both need to sit down, not together, and write each other a letter. Talk about what has been bothering, things you might not understand about your partner, how you want things to be, what you miss. The list can go on and on. You don't need to cover all of these topics in one letter, but at least start with one. Try to keep any blaming or negative accusations our of the letter, just express how you feel. Give your letter to your partner, and set up a time for a later date to discuss them.
2. Get together, over coffee or lunch, and discuss the letters. How they made you feel, etc.... once again, don't blame, attack, or feel like your being blamed or attacked. Just listen and acknowledge the other person when they share.
If you have a hard time sharing or discussing things without blowing up, then do this exercise out in a public place. Just remember not to take things personal or get defensive.
3. Try to make this a weekly, or every other day, thing to do. This exercise should open up the communication lines, and get both of you reconnected, which will bring the passion in your relationship back.
Are you ready to save your marriage? Just looking to improve a relationship?Then you might want to check out Save The Marriage, before it's too late for you.
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
PASSION And Connection In Your Relationship
Is your relationship getting stale? Is it moving in the same direction that everyone's elses is, you know the good old hum-drums? Yawn......
Are you feeling like your being taken advantage of, because your partner doesn't take the time anymore. You know, that special look or hug, the genuine look of interest in their eyes. Has all the romance disappeared?
I use to really hate it when my spouse thought being romantic was a quickie. Where did the intimacy go? Where are the candles, the quiet moments of just talking, touching, just being together.
Well, don't worry, you can get it back.....You CAN HAVE PASSION AND FEEL CONNECTED in your relationship. Sometimes in relationships we can have security, compatibility, love and the same life dreams together, but life and the responsibilities of living can have a corossive effect on our passion and connection with our partner.... If we let it.
Keeping the passion and connection in our relationship just requires us to put a little energy in that direction. And if it's really something that you want back, then a little positive energy in that direction will be well worth it.
In today's world we seem to get caught in the not enough energy cycle. But, if you can make a little time to put the passion and connection back into your relationship, it will be well worth it, besides, positive energy always makes the world seem more do-able, and believe it or not can create more energy!
So, how do you go about creating more passion and connection in your relationship? I have made a list of a few of the ways you can create that, and after reading this list I'm sure you will be able to come up with a few of your own.
1. Remember when you were dating? Some how you managed to take the time then... Well, do the same now! What a novel idea! No, you don't have to go out. You can create passion and connection right in your own home. First think about what it is you and your spouse used to do, Then imagine doing that again, this will get you in the mood to be romantic yourself. Then plan the most romantic evening you can think of, something that will allow you and your spouse to have time to talk and reconnect emotionally. Don't bring up any issues you might have at the moment, let them go for the night. If you have kids, have a friend or relative take them for the night or a few hours. Also don't get your expectations up, just plan on a quiet night to just be together, if the passion starts to fly, well Great!
2. Remember - anything ignored will disappear, this includes your passion and connection to each other. So try to make it a daily habit to say something positive to your spouse.... with sinceriety. Tell them how great they look, or how much you love them, or how grateful you are for them, you get the idea. Sometimes just a small note can say a lot. And we all love those occasionally unexpected cards. The point is, just verbalizing our appreciation can make a big change.
3. Do you give your spouse a peck on the check when they leave for the day? Try this. When they lean in for that little peck, grab them and lay a real kiss on them, and make sure to put a little passion in it. That will give them something to think about all day long.
4. Create a few games to spice up your love life, this will put a little fun along with passion back into your relationship.
5. Play Truth or Dare. Remember how much fun that used to be? Well it still can be fun and can also open up a positive dialogue with your mate. Just make sure to keep all negativity out of it. Now is not the time to say things that might need a counselor present.
6. Take a bubble bath! By candelight! Another great idea and so relaxing and romantic. And yes, you both can fit in a regular sized tub. I'm 5'10" (female) and we would just wrap ourselfs around each other, very cozy! My spouse and I used to soap up each others back and write special messages, then we would try to figure out what the message was. Really hard to do, but so much fun! Give it a try.
Well these should get your imagination going. Just remember that the passion and connection in your relationship takes you to be conscious of it, So take action on creating it.
Need more tips and tricks to keep your relationship on the right track? Then "The Magic Of Making Up" can help. It doesn't matter if your not broken up right now, if you don't reconnect and get the passion back in your relationship, it could happen. And believe me, if this book can help bring couples back together then it can also help in keeping it together. T. Dub Jackson talks about how to......
* Recapture the romance you had when love your love was new. Impossible? Not once you learn the magic of Pattern Breaking and you stir in a dose of the techniques in Chapter 4.
* How to diffuse arguments before they start. This is so simple and works so well you will swear it's "magic"...and it only takes one person!
* What foods toy with your emotions and what foods help put you in balance. Putting your relationship back together is hard enough, make sure you are eating foods that will help you. (Page 26-28)
Are you feeling like your being taken advantage of, because your partner doesn't take the time anymore. You know, that special look or hug, the genuine look of interest in their eyes. Has all the romance disappeared?
I use to really hate it when my spouse thought being romantic was a quickie. Where did the intimacy go? Where are the candles, the quiet moments of just talking, touching, just being together.
Well, don't worry, you can get it back.....You CAN HAVE PASSION AND FEEL CONNECTED in your relationship. Sometimes in relationships we can have security, compatibility, love and the same life dreams together, but life and the responsibilities of living can have a corossive effect on our passion and connection with our partner.... If we let it.
Keeping the passion and connection in our relationship just requires us to put a little energy in that direction. And if it's really something that you want back, then a little positive energy in that direction will be well worth it.
In today's world we seem to get caught in the not enough energy cycle. But, if you can make a little time to put the passion and connection back into your relationship, it will be well worth it, besides, positive energy always makes the world seem more do-able, and believe it or not can create more energy!
So, how do you go about creating more passion and connection in your relationship? I have made a list of a few of the ways you can create that, and after reading this list I'm sure you will be able to come up with a few of your own.
1. Remember when you were dating? Some how you managed to take the time then... Well, do the same now! What a novel idea! No, you don't have to go out. You can create passion and connection right in your own home. First think about what it is you and your spouse used to do, Then imagine doing that again, this will get you in the mood to be romantic yourself. Then plan the most romantic evening you can think of, something that will allow you and your spouse to have time to talk and reconnect emotionally. Don't bring up any issues you might have at the moment, let them go for the night. If you have kids, have a friend or relative take them for the night or a few hours. Also don't get your expectations up, just plan on a quiet night to just be together, if the passion starts to fly, well Great!
2. Remember - anything ignored will disappear, this includes your passion and connection to each other. So try to make it a daily habit to say something positive to your spouse.... with sinceriety. Tell them how great they look, or how much you love them, or how grateful you are for them, you get the idea. Sometimes just a small note can say a lot. And we all love those occasionally unexpected cards. The point is, just verbalizing our appreciation can make a big change.
3. Do you give your spouse a peck on the check when they leave for the day? Try this. When they lean in for that little peck, grab them and lay a real kiss on them, and make sure to put a little passion in it. That will give them something to think about all day long.
4. Create a few games to spice up your love life, this will put a little fun along with passion back into your relationship.
5. Play Truth or Dare. Remember how much fun that used to be? Well it still can be fun and can also open up a positive dialogue with your mate. Just make sure to keep all negativity out of it. Now is not the time to say things that might need a counselor present.
6. Take a bubble bath! By candelight! Another great idea and so relaxing and romantic. And yes, you both can fit in a regular sized tub. I'm 5'10" (female) and we would just wrap ourselfs around each other, very cozy! My spouse and I used to soap up each others back and write special messages, then we would try to figure out what the message was. Really hard to do, but so much fun! Give it a try.
Well these should get your imagination going. Just remember that the passion and connection in your relationship takes you to be conscious of it, So take action on creating it.
Need more tips and tricks to keep your relationship on the right track? Then "The Magic Of Making Up" can help. It doesn't matter if your not broken up right now, if you don't reconnect and get the passion back in your relationship, it could happen. And believe me, if this book can help bring couples back together then it can also help in keeping it together. T. Dub Jackson talks about how to......
* Recapture the romance you had when love your love was new. Impossible? Not once you learn the magic of Pattern Breaking and you stir in a dose of the techniques in Chapter 4.
* How to diffuse arguments before they start. This is so simple and works so well you will swear it's "magic"...and it only takes one person!
* What foods toy with your emotions and what foods help put you in balance. Putting your relationship back together is hard enough, make sure you are eating foods that will help you. (Page 26-28)
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