Has The Passion For Your Relationship Died?

When I started to do some research on "Passion in a  Relationship"  I was really confused.  My initial intention was to learn more about Passion for a relationship, but all the information I ran across linked passion with sex.  Not that I don't think sex should not have passion in it, or that couples should not have sexual passion for each other...I feel both is a positive attribute to have in a relationship.  It's just that I felt you should have a passion FOR your relationship for it to work, (and if you have passion for your relationship, well then, you will have a passionate sex life- a benefit of having passion for your relationship) and unfortunately I couldn't find anything on that.

So, where is the Passion For Your Relationship?  Why isn't there a blaringly common threat on that subject like there is on communication in a relationship. 

Maybe it's just me who is confused about the word "Passion".  So I immediately went to the dictionary to find the correct meaning.  This is what I found:

pas·sion [pash-uhn]
–noun
1.  any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.  strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3.  strong sexual desire; lust.
4.  an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.  a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.  a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.  the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.
8.  an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.  violent anger.
10. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, especially something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action).
11. (often initial capital letter) Theology .
     a. the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferings subsequent to the Last Supper.
     b. the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in the Gospels.
12. Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.

So what I'm reading is that passion is a strong emotion, that could be love, anger, happiness, etc..... It's us who equate it with love or anger, It' basically "Just A Strong Emotion" about or for something.  A passion for singing...A passion for painting....A passion for my relationship.  Yeah, that works.  So, it's my observation that when most of us get into a relationship with someone, that relationship should start out with a passion.... to be with the other person, to have sex, to have that relationship work out.  That is our ultimate goal.  To have the relationship work out, to be with that person for a long, long time.  That is where the passion starts, and ultimately that is the kind of passion I was looking for.

Here is a quote from John Little Prince that explains Passion to a tee, and notice that the word sex isn't mentioned once.

"What is passion? For most people, the word “passion” refers to that something which they can do with utmost fondness, that something which awakens their inner desires to go beyond typical, that something which drives them to forget that they are alive and causes them to go beyond natural. Passion for some is that something which they truly love with supreme sincerity, that something which allows them to wake up in the morning with something to look forward to, and above all, that something which gives them genuine happiness in their lives. Passion is defined by many things to many people."

"I, however, believe that passion cannot be defined in all its brilliance by mere words. Instead, passion defines."

“Tell me what your passion is, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

-John Little Prince


Now that I have that figured out, and probably bored you in the meantime (sorry) let's get on with the initial question.

Has the Passion for your relationship died?  Do you no longer desire it to work? Is everything a drudge, takes too much effort. Do you fantasize about having your own place, someplace where he/she isn't.  (that was my fantasy for the longest time!)  We'll before you give up completely, lets look at some other options.

Do you know that you Can Get The Passion back?  I know that it might sound impossible right now, and maybe your thinking, "why would I possibly want it back?" "Yuck! You can have him/her, cause I'm done!"  Well, slow down just a minute here.  At one time you "had a Passion for him/her, and for this relationship that your in."  Plus, your here so your obviously online looking for a solution.  So, lets just take a minute and look at this.

What you need to do it to take a little timeout from everything.  Just a little while, because if you want to get this relationship back on track your going to need to do a little work.  So, take a little time out and sit back and go back to when your relationship just started out.  I want you to go right back there and remember how you felt, all the emotions.

Now I want you to really focus on the feelings of that memory.  That feeling is called Passion, passion for this relationship, for that person.  That is the feeling we need to bring back.

So how do you start?  The first thing I feel you need to do is bring that feeling up every day. Everyday when you get up and look across at that person, remember that feeling.

Second, of course is communication.  A long-term marriage or relationship based on compatible friendship with good communication can revive the old courtship days when they are needed. But, unfortunately it's the thing most couples lack.


You both might be filling the same way, but if you won't talk about it then you just sit there and let it eat you up inside.

SO, here are three tips to help you re-open the communication lines:

1.  You both need to sit down, not together, and write each other a letter.  Talk about what has been bothering, things you might not understand about your partner, how you want things to be, what you miss.  The list can go on and on. You don't need to cover all of these topics in one letter, but at least start with one.  Try to keep any blaming or negative accusations our of the letter, just express how you feel. Give your letter to your partner, and set up a time for a later date to discuss them.

2.  Get together, over coffee or lunch, and discuss the letters.  How they made you feel, etc.... once again, don't blame, attack, or feel like your being blamed or attacked.  Just listen and acknowledge the other person when they share.

If you have a hard time sharing or discussing things without blowing up, then do this exercise out in a public place. Just remember not to take things personal or get defensive.

3.  Try to make this a weekly, or every other day, thing to do. This exercise should open up the communication lines, and get both of you reconnected, which will bring the passion in your relationship back.

Are you ready to save your marriage? Just looking to improve a relationship?Then you might want to check out Save The Marriage, before it's too late for you.

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PASSION And Connection In Your Relationship

Is your relationship getting stale?  Is it moving in the same direction that everyone's elses is, you know the good old hum-drums?  Yawn......

Are you feeling like your being taken advantage of, because your partner doesn't take the time anymore.  You know, that special look or hug, the genuine look of interest in their eyes. Has all the romance disappeared? 

I use to really hate it when my spouse thought being romantic was a quickie.  Where did the intimacy go?  Where are the candles, the quiet moments of just talking, touching, just being together.

Well, don't worry, you can get it back.....You CAN HAVE PASSION AND FEEL CONNECTED in your relationship. Sometimes in relationships we can have security, compatibility, love and the same life dreams together, but life and the responsibilities of living can have a corossive effect on our passion and connection with our partner.... If we let it.

Keeping the passion and connection in our relationship just requires us to put a little energy in that direction.  And if it's really something that you want back, then a little positive energy in that direction will be well worth it. 

In today's world we seem to get caught in the not enough energy cycle.  But,  if you can make a little time to put the passion and connection back into your relationship,  it will be well worth it,  besides,  positive energy always makes the world seem more do-able, and believe it or not can create more energy!

So, how do you go about creating more passion and connection in your relationship?  I have made a list of a few of the ways you can create that, and after reading this list I'm sure you will be able to come up with a few of your own.

1.  Remember when you were dating?  Some how you managed to take the time then... Well, do the same now!  What a novel idea!  No, you don't have to go out.  You can create passion and connection right in your own home.  First think about what it is you and your spouse used to do, Then imagine doing that again, this will get you in the mood to be romantic yourself. Then plan the most romantic evening you can think of, something that will allow you and your spouse to have time to talk and reconnect emotionally.  Don't bring up any issues you might have at the moment, let them go for the night.  If you have kids, have a friend or relative take them for the night or a few hours. Also don't get your expectations up, just plan on a quiet night to just be together, if the passion starts to fly, well Great!

2.  Remember - anything ignored will disappear,  this includes your passion and connection to each other.  So try to make it a daily habit to say something positive to your spouse.... with sinceriety.  Tell them how great they look, or how much you love them, or how grateful you are for them, you get the idea.  Sometimes just a small note can say a lot. And we all love those occasionally unexpected cards. The point is, just verbalizing our appreciation can make a big change.

3.  Do you give your spouse a peck on the check when they leave for the day?  Try this.  When they lean in for that little peck, grab them and lay a real kiss on them, and make sure to put a little passion in it.  That will give them something to think about all day long.

4.  Create a few games to spice up your love life, this will put a little fun along with passion back into your relationship. 

5.  Play Truth or Dare.  Remember how much fun that used to be?  Well it still can be fun and can also open up a positive dialogue with your mate.  Just make sure to keep all negativity out of it.  Now is not the time to say things that might need a counselor present.

6.  Take a bubble bath! By candelight!  Another great idea and so relaxing and romantic.  And yes, you both can fit in a regular sized tub.  I'm 5'10" (female) and we would just wrap ourselfs around each other, very cozy!  My spouse and I used to soap up each others back and write special messages, then we would try to figure out what the message was.  Really hard to do, but so much fun! Give it a try.

Well these should get your imagination going.  Just remember that the passion and connection in your relationship takes you to be conscious of it,  So take action on creating it.

Need more tips and tricks to keep your relationship on the right track?  Then "The Magic Of Making Up" can help.  It doesn't matter if your not broken up right now, if you don't reconnect and get the passion back in your relationship, it could happen.  And believe me, if this book can help bring couples back together then it can also help in keeping it together. T. Dub Jackson talks about how to......


*  Recapture the romance you had when love your love was new. Impossible? Not once you learn the magic of Pattern Breaking and you stir in a dose of the techniques in Chapter 4.

*  How to diffuse arguments before they start. This is so simple and works so well you will swear it's "magic"...and it only takes one person!

*  What foods toy with your emotions and what foods help put you in balance. Putting your relationship back together is hard enough, make sure you are eating foods that will help you. (Page 26-28)

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